I occasionally have someone find my site; looking for my wife for online counseling. Here is a synopsis of what she and her site are about.
Dr-Is-In was created to provide online counseling to people in the convenience of their own homes. E-therapy or online counseling is not appropriate for everyone. Due to the fact that your e-therapist is unable to see you and do an adequate mental status exam, it is only ethical to do online counseling with people who are experiencing mild or moderate depression, anxiety, grief or addictions. Many people claim to be online therapists, but I encourage you to check their credentials to make sure they are licensed in their state or certified by the National Board for Certified Counselors or a similar counseling organization. Online counseling comes in many different forms as well: email, individual chat and group chat and asynchronous forums. Many people feel more comfortable talking openly in e-therapy than they do in traditional counseling. It is also cheaper–No travel expenses, no babysitter and your online counselor can offer services for less per hour because their overhead is significantly less. Online counseling with an licensed/certified professional is a medical expense and is therefore tax-deductible.
I have been providing online counseling and education online, face-to-face and via telephone for over a decade. During which time I have found that, although every patient is a bit different, there are certain basic principles that remain the same. . .
People are not going to be compliant with treatment (and won’t get better) if you use an approach that does not match their personality.
A small change in your way of thinking, way of feeling, social interactions, environment, physical activities and/or eating and sleeping habits will have big effects to help you get on your way. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither were your problems. Change will be gradual, but Hope goes a long way.
You can do one or two things really well or do a lot of things half-way. What we are after is quality change, not quantity. Work with your e-therapist to identify one or two interventions at a time. You will probably see that a lot of things change anyway. For example, when people start making a conscious effort not to hold on to anger and resentment, they usually find that they physically feel better, have more energy and start sleeping better which helps them have more patience, improved relationships (and support) and reduced anxiety and depression.
People choose the best/most rewarding course of action they can based on the tools they have at any point in time. This is the hardest part for most people to wrap their minds around, but it is the most basic principle of behavior modification. Even if, on the surface, the behavior seems counterproductive and hurtful, there are benefits. Until you identify those benefits and find other ways of reaping the same rewards, you will not change.
Most people find during their online counseling sessions that depression, anxiety, anger etc. revolves around six basic fears: loss of control, the unknown, rejection, isolation, failure (or success) and death. We do whatever we can to avoid these feelings and when we cannot avoid them, sometimes they consume us. Although you may not like to talk about feelings, we will talk about “triggers” for your problem and tools to deal with or eliminate them.
People see all the reasons why they “should” change, but often fail to take into account all the reasons they do not want to change. It goes back to that reward. What is the benefit of this behavior or feeling? What is it protecting me from or getting for me? If you try to take away that behavior and replace it with something that does not meet the same need with the same intensity, you will FAIL! It is kind of like replacing chocolate with celery when you go on a diet. It just doesn’t quite getcha there.
Please let me know about topics you would like to see added. I will respond to questions about e-therapy, mental health, parenting and wellness as quickly as possible. You are free to ask questions, but remember, the forums are not therapy and they are public. Be smart about protecting your identity etc. Additionally, I offer free online counseling whenever I am online. Visit our services page for more information.
All that being said, I look forward to a very productive relationship.
~Dr. Snipes
